A licenced psychotherapist has opened up about the one thing that changed her sex life forever.
Vanessa Martin has studied human sexuality at Brown University and now runs YouTube channel ‘Vanessa and Xander Marin’ with her husband Xander.
Known as ‘that sex couple’, the duo provide intimate advice for people who may feel ’embarrassed about sex’.
Vanessa has spoke about the issue of not orgasming (Getty Stock Images)
Vanessa has spoke about the issue of not orgasming (Getty Stock Images)
Xander considers himself a ‘regular dude’ who left his career in tech ‘once he realised it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day’.
In a video from earlier this year, Vanessa spoke about a simple, but effective realisation ‘that changed my sex life forever’.
“When I first started having intercourse, it involved a lot of waiting around, like waiting for my partner or for the intercourse itself to just deliver me this magical orgasm,” she began.
“Because that’s all I’d ever seen on TV and in the movies, right? Like sex just seems so effortless, so natural, so easy, except that wasn’t happening.
Psychotherapist Vanessa says she wants to help people feel ‘so embarrassed about sex’ (YouTube/Vanessa and Xander Marin)
Psychotherapist Vanessa says she wants to help people feel ‘so embarrassed about sex’ (YouTube/Vanessa and Xander Marin)
“And I started feeling really scared and frustrated and freaked out, like my male partner was having orgasms.
“It seemed effortless and easy and straightforward for him. So what was wrong with me?
“Why wasn’t it happening for me? But then I had the realization that changed everything. I realized that orgasm actually wasn’t effortless for my male partner.
“He was actively participating in creating his own orgasm. He was getting into the positions that he liked, moving at the angles that he liked, at the pace and the depth that he liked.
“He was making his own orgasm happen. And I started thinking to myself, ‘What would sex feel like if I went after my own pleasure in that same unapologetic way?’
Play
“So I decided to try it out, and lo and behold, that is when I started having orgasms with a partner for the very first time.
“Now I’m a sex therapist, and I want the same thing for you.
“Stop waiting around letting sex be done to you, and start having sex like a guy does you?”
According to YouGov stats from 2022, only three in ten British women (30 percent) say they orgasm every time they have sex.
Highlighting the orgasm gap between men and women, they added: “By contrast, three in five British men overall (61 percent) say they reach climax every time they have sex, with another 23 percent saying they do so on most occasions. Just 10 percent say they do so sometimes, rarely or never.”
Featured Image Credit: YouTube/Vanessa and Xander Marin/Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Anish Vij
Anish Vij
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People swear they ‘feel younger’ after trying ‘magic’ gummies with a surprising ingredient
Updated 13:27 28 Oct 2024 GMT
Published 09:56 7 Oct 2024 GMT+1
People swear they ‘feel younger’ after trying ‘magic’ gummies with a surprising ingredient
Here’s everything you need to know about ‘the miracle molecule’
Ellis Cochrane
Ellis Cochrane
This article contains affiliate links and LADbible Group might make a commission on anything purchased.
There’s plenty of ‘miracle’ anti-ageing products out there, but these gummies might just be worth the hype.
NMN (nicotinamide mononucleotide) is a bit of a buzzword in the world of anti-ageing at the moment. Or you might have heard of the abbreviation NAD (nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide). But don’t let those long and technical names put you off.
Both have quickly become a must-have with celebrities such as Joe Rogan, The Kardashians and Hailey Bieber reportedly big fans.
Orange County
And even though they’ve been hooking themselves up to NAD IV drips, there is a way for us to benefit from the supplement here in the UK and thankfully there are no needles or injections involved.
If you’re looking for an easy and tasty way to get some of the same benefits that the celebs have been getting, Orange County’s NMN Gummies have just hit the market. And when we found out that you could take what is thought to be ‘the miracle molecule’ in the form of gummies, we were certainly intrigued.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to take all their vitamins and supplements in gummy form?
Here’s what you need to know about the latest anti-ageing supplement and why it might be beneficial to you.
What is NMN?
First of all, it’s important to break down what NMN means and according to Healthline, “at specific doses, NMN supplements may help improve insulin sensitivity and heart function and reduce tiredness with few side effects.” But as with any supplement or vitamin that you might be thinking about taking, it’s a good idea to consult your GP or pharmacist before doing so.
NMN is a molecule that our bodies make naturally and while research is still ongoing, it is thought to help with brain and heart health, sleep, memory and a few chronic conditions.
Tatiana Rodriguez/Unsplash
And Orange County’s NMN Gummies make taking the supplement so much easier.
If you’ve ever struggled to swallow numerous chalky tablets as you try to take your daily vitamins and supplements, you’ll know how quickly that becomes rather off-putting and stops you from making it a part of your daily routine. Whereas, these mixed fruit-flavoured gummies definitely go down a lot easier.
The reason that the celebs have been flocking to try this particular supplement is the fact that it is reported to slow down the ageing process, with some claiming that it can slow down or reverse the natural signs of ageing such as hair thinning and loss and skin elasticity and firmness.
How much do the gummies cost?
The Orange County NMN Gummies are priced at £26.99 for a tub of 30 gummies. Or, you can save 20% on every order if you buy them via their subscription, making each tub just £21.59 or 80p a gummy.
And if you’re still not sure if they’re for you, they also have a 30 day money back guarantee, allowing you to try them out to see if you notice any difference to your overall energy levels and skin or hair.
Featured Image Credit: Orange County Wellbeing
Topics: Health, Lifestyle, Shopping
Ellis Cochrane
Ellis Cochrane
Dating expert reveals the seven body language signs that show someone is not into you
Updated 14:58 7 Jun 2024 GMT+1
Published 14:59 7 Jun 2024 GMT+1
Dating expert reveals the seven body language signs that show someone is not into you
Body language can often give away our true feelings towards someone
Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper
Dating in the modern world is often a minefield.
Thanks to the creation of apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, looking for a date is often just a swipe away from us – meaning that, in theory, looking for love should be easier than ever.
Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way, with most of us spending ages swiping through dozens of profiles and suffering the excruciating small talk before finally securing a date.
Things don’t become much easier once the conversation moves into the real world either, as first dates often end up with both of you sat in awkward silence after realising you don’t have much in common.
Looking to make sure you’re not wasting time on a bad first date? Australian dating expert Louanne Ward has revealed some body language red flags you should look out for.
Sharing the advice on her Instagram account – @louanneward – the matchmaker detailed seven ‘tell-tale’ signs that someone isn’t interested in you.
Looking for a date is often just a swipe away from us. (Getty Stock Image)
Looking for a date is often just a swipe away from us. (Getty Stock Image)
Closed arms
One of the easiest ones to spot is closed arms, with Louanne writing that crossed arms are a key sign that someone has closed themselves off to you.
“Crossed arms create a barrier, suggesting a defensive and closed-off attitude,” she said.
Leaning away
Leaning away is another sign, with the action showing that someone is subconsciously trying to distance themselves from you.
“If they consistently lean away from you, it signifies a desire to create physical distance and disengage,” Louanne explained.
Our body language doesn’t lie. (Getty Stock Image)
Our body language doesn’t lie. (Getty Stock Image)
Minimal eye contact
Making eye contact with others, especially during intense scenarios can feel a little daunting – but looking into your date’s eyes is an important sign that you’re into them.
Avoiding eye contact or constantly looking away can indicate a ‘lack of interest or discomfort’ in someone.
Lack of engagement
Having a conversation with someone shouldn’t feel difficult or one-sided, if it does this is another sign someone isn’t interested in getting to know you. Louanne said that an uninterested person may show this by ‘not actively participating in the conversation, offering short or monosyllabic responses, or seeming distracted’.
Limited touch
Physical touch is an important way of building a romantic connection with someone. Granted some people may not be overly comfortable with physical touch, but it can be a key sign of disinterest.
Louanne noted that anyone actively trying to avoid touch or keep a distance from you could well be showing their lack of interest.
Dating expert Louanne Ward. (Instagram/@louanneward)
Dating expert Louanne Ward. (Instagram/@louanneward)
Absence of mirroring
According to Louanne, when we’re interested we ‘tend to mirror the body language of the other person subconsciously’. Therefore a lack of mirroring can reveal the absence of an emotional connection.
Preoccupation
Seeing someone pull out their phone on a date is a clear indicator that the date is going south. Louanne added that a person who’s more interested in checking their phone or looking around the room has a ‘disinterest in the current interaction’.
The dating expert concluded her post by writing: “Remember, while these body language cues may indicate disinterest, it’s essential to consider them in conjunction with verbal communication and the overall context.
“If you observe several of these signs, it might be time to gracefully move on and find someone who truly appreciates your company!”
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Dating trends, Sex and Relationships
Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper
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Woman sparks debate after revealing the four word text that put her off a date
Published 21:02 31 May 2024 GMT+1
Woman sparks debate after revealing the four word text that put her off a date
The woman was unsure whether to cancel the date
Lucy Devine
Lucy Devine
A woman has sparked debate online after revealing the four word message that put her off going on a first date.
The woman explained that after she made a profile on a dating app, she started chatting to a man who asked her out for food.
While she was initially enthusiastic about meeting up, she shared a second message the man sent which has completely put her off.
The woman asked Mumsnet for advice (Getty Stock Photo)
The woman asked Mumsnet for advice (Getty Stock Photo)
Taking to Mumsnet, the woman asked if she should still go ahead with the date as planned, or if she should run a mile.
But people were pretty divided with their views.
While some agreed it would be an instant turn off, others said they thought she should at least give the date a chance.
“I made a profile on an app and some guy’s asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we’ve agreed to meet this weekend,” the woman explained in her post.
The woman was unsure about a walk around the town centre (Getty Stock Photo)
The woman was unsure about a walk around the town centre (Getty Stock Photo)
“Now he’s said shall we have a short walk first before the food to ‘see how we feel’?
“That’s obviously code for, I’ll see if I fancy you and if not I don’t have to eat with you. It wasn’t a fancy sit down meal, just a quick bite to eat like.
“Should I still go ahead? I don’t know why, this has put me off slightly.
“It was only some waffle place, I wouldn’t go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?”
Explaining he wanted to walk around the city, she added: “I just don’t want to feel like I’m being assessed so much.
“A waffle/crepe whatever is hardly a court summons, it’s barely more than a coffee. If I’m that grotesque surely he can finish it quickly and go?”
Some thought going for food would be awkward (Getty Stock Photo)
Some thought going for food would be awkward (Getty Stock Photo)
People were pretty divided, but many agreed it didn’t make sense to walk aimlessly through a town centre.
“I would never ever go for a walk as a date unless it was someone who was into hiking. Walking down the road with someone is not a date,” one person wrote.
And another said: “I could understand him not wanting to do a whole formal meal type of thing but a waffle!
“At least with a waffle, once you’ve finished you can leave if you don’t like him.
“What do you do on an aimless walk? Keep walking awkwardly with no end in site. That’s a no for me.”
Others thought the woman was being too harsh, however.
One added: “I think you’re being a bit sensitive – it makes sense to suss the other person out before committing to a meal.
“Doesn’t necessarily mean fancying, but what if their vibes are just totally off? Gives you a chance to suss him out too.”
And another said: “No way would I have food on a first date. Eating in front of someone you don’t know is just cringe. Have a short walk and grab a coffee.”
What do you think?
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Lucy Devine
Lucy Devine
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Expert reveals signs that show your partner wants to marry you
Published 20:52 27 Jun 2024 GMT+1
Expert reveals signs that show your partner wants to marry you
Could there be wedding bells in your near future?
Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper
An expert has revealed the tell tale signs that your partner is ready to take the next step in your relationship.
Imagine this, you’ve finally made it past the awkward dating app stage and enjoying a blossoming relationship.
Instead of stilted small talk your days are now replaced with meeting the family and discussions about what your future relationship will look like.
If the relationship is going really well you may even start wondering what the next steps are. Marriage, children, buying a house together?
If you’re ready to tie the knot but unsure if your partner feels the same, here are the main signs that you may be receiving a marriage proposal in the near future.
Could wedding bells be in your near future? (Getty Stock Images)
Could wedding bells be in your near future? (Getty Stock Images)
You get an invite to meet the family
Receiving an invitation to meet the family is one the first signs that your significant other sees you sticking around for the long-haul. After all, why would you bother to introduce someone to your grandparents and distant cousins if the relationship was just casual?
According to psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, introducing your partner to important people in your life is a sign they are serious.
“If they are serious about you as a life partner, they likely will introduce you to the important people in their life,” Romanoff told Verywellmind.
“[It’s] a sign that they want to integrate you into their life in a meaningful way and to make sure you are compatible with their friend and family groups.”
‘I’ becomes ‘We’
Another sign that your partner has marriage on the brain is if they factor you into their longterm plans.
Discussing plans about buying a house together, window shopping for nice furniture – especially if they’re asking for your opinion on home decor preferences.
Are you hoping to be presented with a ring? (Getty Stock Images)
Are you hoping to be presented with a ring? (Getty Stock Images)
Does your partner also refer to the two of you as a ‘we’ instead of a ‘you and I’? If so, this could be another sign things are getting serious.
According to research undertaken by the University of California, engaging in ‘we-talk’ is a key indicator that you have moved from self-oriented to relationship-oriented.
You begin to talk about wedding plans
Most of us have speculated what our future hypothetical wedding day could look like from time to time.
However if you find your significant other frequently looking for a way to bring up discussions around weddings or getting married, it could be a sign they’re testing the water to see where you stand on marriage.
They’ve been engaged before
Your partner having multiple engagements under their belt can mean one of two things – they’re afraid of commitment or they really believe in the idea of marriage.
“If they have been engaged before, they likely are marriage-oriented and hopefully have learned from their past experience,” Romanoff said, adding that a previous engagement at least shows their intent for long-term commitment.
If you’ve read this far it’s likely you’re looking to get married. (Getty Stock Images)
If you’ve read this far it’s likely you’re looking to get married. (Getty Stock Images)
However it’s also important to remember that a string of failed engagements could also be a sign that your partner is quick to rush in to situations they’re not fully ready for.
Now we’re not saying these signs mean you should rush to book wedding venues or make a shortlist of baby names right away, but if your partner is showing more than one of these signs it might be time to sit down and have an open conversation about your expectations for the future.
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Dating trends, Sex and Relationships
